Marriage and Romance

I came across this article in the newspaper dated November 18, 2010. I thought it was awesome and something that should be read from time to time.

QUESTION: Dear Dr. Scott, When my husband and I were dating he used to really take charge. He was such a gentleman. He would open doors for me, would let me order first at restaurants, bring me flowers for no special reason.
We've now been married for two years and all of the nice things he used to do have trickled to a halt. We don't even go out anymore.
I was reading that married couples should have date night. I told him about it and he agreed that we should do it but he expects me to plan everything.
We have a baby, so if we are going to go out, I have to get the babysitter and plan the activity. He just expects to show up. He takes no initiative anymore because he says he doesn't have the time with his busy work schedule.
I feel like, I'm just a friend he lives with except he still expects all the "benefits" of being married. The thing that makes it worse is that he hangs out with his friends about one night a week and he puts more time into planning what he is going to do with his buddies than he would on anything that we would do together.
It's insulting. I want to be romanced sometimes and treated like I'm special. I get nothing. I am getting to the point where I would rather just find something to do on my own with my friends or just go to bed early, than have to have the constant struggle to get some special one-on-one time with him.
What should I do Dr. Scott? I'm afraid to become a "demanding wife, but I don't think I'm asking for that much.
ANSWER So, the honeymoon is over. Typical. It's often difficult for couples to maintain the romance they enjoyed so much when they were courting each other. It's easy to put your best foot forward when trying to win someone's heart.
Then the drudgery of life settles in and spouses can't be bothered to woo each other anymore. They get bored, take each other for granted and paying attention to each other becomes a chore. Maybe people feel like romance is a luxury that can wait.
Is is really any wonder that half of marriages end in divorce? I submit to you that romance is vital to the survival of any marriage. So, you better stop waiting around for your husband to take care of it for you. I appreciate your question and I hold you and your husband equally responsible for the health of your marriage. It's not your job alone. Yet nothing in your question indicates to me that you've done much to address this issue on your end.
What are you doing to romance him? You talk about the so called "benefits" of being married as if it's another chore on your to-do-list. Please tell me that sex isn't just some favor you do for him. The way you discuss such an intimate, precious part of your marriage is perhaps an indicator of your level of initiative in the romance department.
Husbands aren't mind readers. Suggesting a date night is a start but if you really want romance, lead by example.
Men like compliments, dates, surprises, and special treatment too. So, I recommend that you get an awesome date set up. Pretend you're dating him like you did before you were married. Impress him. Laugh with him. Give him compliments. Flatter him with your charm.
Then after you've been as good to each other as you were when you were courting each other, make sure that you leave a little time to be alone later in the evening. Once at home-- or maybe even on the way home--show him just how good the "benefits" of being married can be.
You might just surprise him with your romantic prowess. Maybe you'll even start something that catches on.
In any case, after you've made your desires clear and you've done all you can do to re-energize your marriage; if he still acts like a clueless oaf, write me back and we'll take this questions to the next level.
Stay in touch. Dr. Scott